It seems unfair that these two words now go hand in hand. It's good to remember that 60% of Marriages succeed. Helping and supporting these couples to continue in loving caring relationships need to be where our concentration is rather than constantly focussing on the 40% that are having difficulties.
The Marriage Course from Holy Trinity Brompton, London is a great way to enhance marriage and a lot of relationships are helped by this reminder of why couples want to be together and share their lives. It also provides an MOT of the relationship and gives loads of ideas that couples can "personalise" and use to ensure that the person they have chosen as "The One" remains the centre of their attention. This applies to marriages of 1 year, 10 years, and those celebrating silver anniversaries.
However, a lot of FMI's work is about Family Breakdown. Finding ways to support those who find themselves "victims" in these situations. Generally speaking we think of children in this area. The theory is, if we can strengthen marriages and prevent break-up then less children will suffer. Our statistics tell us that in 1998, 145,000 divorces affected just over 150,000 children* - how much more so now in 2004?
Other "Victims" who are coming to FMI's attention are Grandparents. We know that over 750,000 children in Britain now have no contact with their fathers*. Fathers rights have been obvious in our news headlines lately, but what about those of Grandparents. We hear of a very sad story of a Grandmother who's son tragically died at an early age and her daughter in law has refused to allow her to see her grandchildren. Court injunctions and fines have been brought against this grandmother (now an elderly pensioner) as she has attempted to make contact with her grandchildren. Other scenarios often occur when bitterness occurs at point of separation and divorce and grandparents are no longer allowed access to their children. Contact Laws do not protect or acknowledge Grandparent rights who genuinely love the children and have a natural (blood) connection with them. (Although immediate access to children of new boy or girl friends go unchecked!!).
FMI are currently undertaking further research into the roles of Grandparents and relationships between Grandparents and Grandchildren as we feel this is an important area of work. In the meantime, we support the work of many Grandparents Associations, especially Grandparents Apart
* Statistics taken from The Cost of Family Breakdown (2000) - 92 page report available from the FMI Store